Year in the Bible Daily Reading:
Genesis 32-34; Psalm 145; Mark 13 Listen to Today's Reading
Genesis 32:22-32
“That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two female servants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. Then the man said, ‘Let me go, for it is daybreak.’ But Jacob replied, ‘I will not let you go unless you bless me.’ The man asked me, ‘What is your name?’ ‘Jacob,’ he answered. Then the man said, ‘Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.’ Jacob said, ‘Please tell me your name.’ But he replied, ‘Why do you ask my name?’ Then he blessed him there. So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, ‘It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.’ The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel, and he was limping because of his hip. Therefore, to this day, the Israelites do not eat the tendon attached to the socket of the hip because the socket of Jacob’s hip was touched near the tendon.” Genesis 32:22-32 (NIV)
A few years ago I found myself wrestling with God over a friendship. It was a longtime friend from back home that I don’t see much of anymore and was actually not really talking to as much as I’d like. I don’t know what made the relationship change (maybe time and distance) but I started to question if I had done something wrong. I prayed about it hoping the relationship would go back to the way it was. But it didn’t. I felt hurt and confused. I couldn’t understand why God allowed this friendship to change. Should I keep trying or just let it go?
Jacob wrestled with a situation he could not control. He too, was afraid of what was ahead and he had to come to terms with things from his past. I, too, was wrestling with God because I wanted him to change my circumstances. I wanted Him to fix my friendship. But perhaps God was trying to change me instead.
I began to understand that sometimes we hold so tightly to a relationship because we’re afraid of what it means to let go. We think letting go means giving up. But sometimes letting go is actually an act of trust. I prayed to God that if this relationship was meant to be restored, please help me do so. But if it isn’t, please help me accept it.
Slowly, something changed in me. I began to trust God with my feelings about my situation. Jacob, too, walked away changed as well. He even walked away with a limp, a reminder that he had been through a struggle. Sometimes our relationships leave us with a “limp” too. God can even use painful relationships to teach us about forgiveness, boundaries, grace and trusting Him. Looking back, I realized that I had been asking God to restore this friendship, while God was teaching me to trust in Him with the friendship. And maybe that’s what wrestling with God really means. It doesn't mean we don't have faith. It means we care enough to bring our deepest hurts and concerns to Him.
Questions for Reflection:
- What is harder for you: forgiving someone, letting go of a friendship or trusting God with the outcome?
Prayer:
Dear God, thank you for reminding me through Jacob’s story that it's okay to wrestle with you. Sometimes I don't know why friendships change or why people hurt us. When I’m hurt, help me bring those feelings to you. Even if it's hard for me, I need to put my trust in you to guide me through difficult times in my life. Amen
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