Ephesians 4:31-32
Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outbursts, and blasphemies, with all malice, be taken away from you. And be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32 (MEV)
We have been fighting Creeping Charlie in our yard for years. It is the weed that just will not die. We tried many methods to kill it but nothing worked for very long. We’d see dead brown patches and think we took care of the problem. But a few weeks later it would be back or it would show up in a new area of the lawn. It just kept growing, typically stronger and covering more ground each year. It has taken a lot of persistence and some professional help to get to the root and finally kill the weed.
Anger is a lot like Creeping Charlie. It grows easily and quickly. It smothers our joy and makes us bitter as it spreads. And even when we think it’s gone, something happens and the feeling comes back. Just like a weed, if we don’t deal with the root of the anger it just doesn’t really go away. In Ephesians, Paul shares the secret to getting rid of the anger – forgiveness. I just wish he would have included some tips for how to forgive.
Forgiving is an easy decision when someone steps on my toe or cuts in front of me in line. It is a little more challenging to forgive someone that doesn’t ask for forgiveness and even more difficult when someone doesn’t even think they’ve wronged us. That’s when the root of the anger is harder to identify and easier to try to pretend that it doesn’t bother us. That’s when it festers and causes bitterness and changes us from the inside. That’s when I need help and wish Paul had just made a step-by-step list for forgiving and letting go.
Andy Stanley in his Enemies of the Heart book and sermon series talks about anger as a feeling of being owed and forgiving as a decision to cancel a debt. The steps he suggests are:
- Identify who you are angry with.
- Determine what you are owed – specifically. Until you specifically identify the debt, you are not ready to cancel that debt.
- Cancel the debt. Decide that they don’t owe you anything, anymore. Make a list and burn it or some other way to physically feel the decision.
- Dismiss the case. Reminding yourself whenever memories of the hurt resurface that you’ve canceled the debt.
Questions for Reflection:
- When you read this, did something or someone come to mind?
- Could these steps help you forgive and let go?
Prayer
Heavenly Father, thank you for the gift of forgiveness. Not only the forgiveness you give to us, but the gift of peace that comes from sharing forgiveness with each other. Help me to learn to be more forgiving and less angry. Give me humility to forgive others with kindness and compassion. Give me the wisdom to remember the debts are canceled and the anger has been taken away. Amen
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