Matthew 18:15-22
See if you can see the contradiction in the following passage?
“If your brother or sister sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If you are listened to, you have regained that one. But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If that person refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church, and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a gentile and a tax collector. Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loose in heaven. Again, truly I tell you, if two of you agree on earth about anything you ask, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.” Matthew 18:15-22 (NRSVUE)
I’m challenged by the contradiction.
The quoted passage follows Jesus’s familiar parable of leaving the ninety-nine sheep to find the one. The obvious implication tells us to make even extravagant efforts to reunite with the one who gets in trouble, and is alienated from the flock.
Then comes the shocker. In contrast we read this passage that instead calls for us to cut off the one who differs from us. Although we are given a three-tier trial path to settle certain problems with people, nothing is said about what such an issue might be. Do we get a hint even about what kinds of issues might prompt this extreme expulsion? Is it a trouble maker or someone whose beliefs differ from those of Mathew’s community? We don’t know. Lacking context we are given a blanket procedure for driving out a lost sheep, which is at odds with saving the lost sheep.
Then this draconian direction is followed immediately by Jesus’s statement that we are to forgive others not seven times, but seventy-seven times. How do these messages square? What is the author of Matthew doing? Excommunication seems too easy a way out for the community.
In reality there are toxic people for whom we must put up good boundaries. How do we work with people who struggle with mental illness, personality disorders, or past trauma that causes bad behaviors? I’d have to ask a professional. Yet it seems to me what Jesus teaches doesn’t match up the solution offered in Matthew’s telling of these stories; theirs is not the loving thing to do.
When it gets right down to it, we are to emulate the one who didn’t fight back or curse the Romans when they were putting him on the cross. Jesus didn’t cast out those lost sheep. It seems to me Jesus’s hope is that by staying true to God’s loving way, a centurion might turn and trust God. In Mark’s account the centurion sees how Jesus dies. Jesus shows no anger or fear of those who hate him. Instead he stays true to God’s Way of transformative compassion and forgiveness. And that’s when that one centurion responded, “He was the Son of God.” It took the death of Jesus for one lost sheep to be found.
Questions for Reflection:
- Who are the folks that are toxic in your family or community? How do you deal with it?
- When you disagree with a passage or have confusion in what it might mean, how do you square the Word of God with the words of God in scripture?
Prayer
Almighty God, your ways are above ours. Forgive us when we can’t deal with certain people. We give them into your care when we cannot handle it. And Lord, you know that behaviors which hurt or kill others must be stopped. Even then help us to forgive in your Way that builds trust again and heals so those bad behaviors end. Bring us something new, creative, and good for all. Amen
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